Hard Times will get Better! (My depression)

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               “There are wounds that never show in the body that are deeper and more hurtful than anything that bleeds”

Laurell K. Hamilton, Mistral’s Kiss

So, everybody goes through hard times in their life, even though sometimes they might not even realise it themselves. It can feel like everything is just going from bad to worse, and that light at the end of the tunnel has gone out.

This is how I currently feel. But it seems like nobody around me understands, they just think I am in a constant sour mood, or they say that I have no right to feel this way, because I have a roof over my head and my life isn’t as bad as some people’s. Sometimes, it’s not as easy as that.

Depression is not a lifestyle choice, people who suffer it didn’t choose to feel so bad about themselves, didn’t opt for feeling like their life was worth nothing. I would never commit suicide, I couldn’t possibly do that to my family, I couldn’t do that to a human life, no matter who’s it is, life is precious and should be celebrated not destroyed. But that doesn’t mean I don’t understand what is going through people’s minds when they attempt to take their life. I do not condone it, people should face their problems rather than taking the easiest way out. But sometimes, that feels like it is the only way out.

Other people don’t really help either. They keep saying, you just need to get yourself sorted, get back on track, just change your mindset. I’m trying, so hard.

The life of a university student is full of ups and downs. The ups?

Good grades (when they are achieved), the friends and the opportunities presented to you! At university, you can choose your life, you can choose who you want to be for the rest of it.

But then there are the downs.

The late nights, the bills, having to take care of yourself for the first time, the work load, the exams; and then there is the one that gets me down the most, the lack of money.

I cannot get a job, anywhere. I must have applied for over fifty jobs, but none of them batted an eyelid at me! Employers don’t care for students, not in a small university town anyway.

But the thought that keeps me going through all of the pain, all of the sadness, is that all I need to do is turn that corner in the tunnel, just get round the bend, and that light will be shining more bright and more beautiful than anything I have ever seen in my life.

To all you people who suffer with depression, or know people who are, just know, you are not alone! And although we all have different circumstances, we can all get through it. Just hold your head high, don’t let it change who you are, live to smile another day!

StudentLifeSucks.

Time Machine

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Time Machine

Taking her first step into the strange new (yet old) place, well, she was dumbfounded. What could be said about this place? It was amazing how a century away from somewhere could change everything.The United Kingdom, in the year 2114. Was it still called the United Kingdom? How much exactly had changed?

The floor gleamed a pearlescent white, it was so clean, it looked as though a single person had never strolled across it’s surface, the commuters had never ran to catch their trains. The walls of the surrounding buildings were all made of glass, well it looked like glass, but everything had changed so much, could she be sure? They towered above her, twice the height of the usual skyscraper, how did they build them so tall, and still structurally sound? 

So many questions rushing through her head, but the one that stood out, the one that she hadn’t realised until the thought came to her mind, the one that worried her most. Where were all the people? 

 

 

Valentine’s Day.

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Friday 14th February, 2014.

What better day to begin my blogging life than the day of love. But what makes Valentine’s Day so special to us?

The history of Valentine’s Day is interesting; on the surface, most people understand that there was this guy… Saint Valentine. Right okay, common knowledge. But according to some (e.g. Henry Ansgar Kelly) Valentine was imprisoned because he was marrying soldiers that were banned from marriage. Before he was executed he apparently sent the first Valentine’s card addressed to the jailers’ daughter, signing it “your Valentine” (Do you see where the phrase came from?). Of course this is only one apparent version of events, according to historians there were multiple Saint Valentine’s, so who knows when it truly started.

But anyway, down to business. Valentine’s Day has become (as with other holidays) less about the people we love, and more about gift giving. Don’t get me wrong, I love valentine’s Day as much as the next person. But, the amount of people you get complaining about being single on Valentine’s Day, and claiming to hate it! I bet you any amount of money that they would love the day if they were in a relationship. Who is to say that the origin of this day wasn’t just to celebrate all love in general? Why can’t we celebrate other people’s love too? Why have people turned it into a selfish day?

My partner and I (being students) have very little money, so we haven’t bought presents, or a card for one another. We are spending the day together and having a meal (home cooked I might add). This way, we save money, and we celebrate love. Yes our own love, bit selfish. But I have seen love everywhere today. True and beautiful. A guy preening a bouquet of flowers and a single red rose whilst waiting for his Valentine to answer the door, and so many couples looking entirely loved up! I think love is amazing. And just having a little appreciation for it, well it can go a long way. Whether you are single or not, you should try it sometime.

Keep on Loving!
!.!.!StudentLifeSucks!.!.!