Hard Times will get Better! (My depression)

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               “There are wounds that never show in the body that are deeper and more hurtful than anything that bleeds”

Laurell K. Hamilton, Mistral’s Kiss

So, everybody goes through hard times in their life, even though sometimes they might not even realise it themselves. It can feel like everything is just going from bad to worse, and that light at the end of the tunnel has gone out.

This is how I currently feel. But it seems like nobody around me understands, they just think I am in a constant sour mood, or they say that I have no right to feel this way, because I have a roof over my head and my life isn’t as bad as some people’s. Sometimes, it’s not as easy as that.

Depression is not a lifestyle choice, people who suffer it didn’t choose to feel so bad about themselves, didn’t opt for feeling like their life was worth nothing. I would never commit suicide, I couldn’t possibly do that to my family, I couldn’t do that to a human life, no matter who’s it is, life is precious and should be celebrated not destroyed. But that doesn’t mean I don’t understand what is going through people’s minds when they attempt to take their life. I do not condone it, people should face their problems rather than taking the easiest way out. But sometimes, that feels like it is the only way out.

Other people don’t really help either. They keep saying, you just need to get yourself sorted, get back on track, just change your mindset. I’m trying, so hard.

The life of a university student is full of ups and downs. The ups?

Good grades (when they are achieved), the friends and the opportunities presented to you! At university, you can choose your life, you can choose who you want to be for the rest of it.

But then there are the downs.

The late nights, the bills, having to take care of yourself for the first time, the work load, the exams; and then there is the one that gets me down the most, the lack of money.

I cannot get a job, anywhere. I must have applied for over fifty jobs, but none of them batted an eyelid at me! Employers don’t care for students, not in a small university town anyway.

But the thought that keeps me going through all of the pain, all of the sadness, is that all I need to do is turn that corner in the tunnel, just get round the bend, and that light will be shining more bright and more beautiful than anything I have ever seen in my life.

To all you people who suffer with depression, or know people who are, just know, you are not alone! And although we all have different circumstances, we can all get through it. Just hold your head high, don’t let it change who you are, live to smile another day!

StudentLifeSucks.

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‘Inspire Me!’ Post 1.

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‘What was the one experience that completely changed your life? What happened? How did it change your life?’

I feel that having even one constant in life is important. One thing which was never the same in my life was my relationships. Well that’s not entirely true. They were the same. That was the problem. Every single one of my relationships were boring and uneventful.

When I came to university, I spent my first year in halls of residence. The apartment I lived in contained five of us all together. Apologies for the cliché, but I actually did fall in love within the first night of meeting one of my housemates. Problem was, I was already in a relationship, but like all of my previous encounters with the opposite sex, it had become stale, boring and ultimately, the relationship had died.

I was then faced with the decision, did I stick with the relationship I was already in, and try desperately cling to the slowly fading embers? Or did I plunge headfirst into a situation that was entirely new to me? Of course I took a deep breath and dived!

Taking that risk was the best thing that ever happened to me! My partner and I are very happy together, not so happy with where we are living, but that all changes soon! That, however, is another story entirely.

I suppose the moral behind my story is, don’t always stick with the situations you know and despise. Do not allow yourself to fall into a routine. Take chances sometimes. Plan your life! Don’t let life plan you.

Live life to the max.
!.!.!StudentLifeSucks!.!.!

Confused?

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Have you ever been stuck in that situation where you don’t know what you want to do with your life? 

I am. Right now! 

I think I want to start working with sharks, well my degree would allow for that, but I don’t honestly know! 

I still hold all of those childish hopes that one day I might be famous and have made a name for myself doing something that I love. My problem is, I love doing so many things! 

I love to draw, and I’m not bad if I do say so myself, I love to write, which is why I am on here right now, I love acting, and dancing, and being creative in every sense of the word. I am a pretty good cook and I wouldn’t mind taking that further! Not to mention, I would love to start a vlog or get a few readers for my blog! 

I don’t quite know where I am going with this post. Maybe you could post about your situation if you are in a similar one! I am sure it is the same for most students. Between essays, practicals and exams, where do we get the time to have a hobby? Which, for me, means I want to make my hobbies my life! But who can do them all?! 

 

StudentLifeSucks.

Valentine’s Day.

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Friday 14th February, 2014.

What better day to begin my blogging life than the day of love. But what makes Valentine’s Day so special to us?

The history of Valentine’s Day is interesting; on the surface, most people understand that there was this guy… Saint Valentine. Right okay, common knowledge. But according to some (e.g. Henry Ansgar Kelly) Valentine was imprisoned because he was marrying soldiers that were banned from marriage. Before he was executed he apparently sent the first Valentine’s card addressed to the jailers’ daughter, signing it “your Valentine” (Do you see where the phrase came from?). Of course this is only one apparent version of events, according to historians there were multiple Saint Valentine’s, so who knows when it truly started.

But anyway, down to business. Valentine’s Day has become (as with other holidays) less about the people we love, and more about gift giving. Don’t get me wrong, I love valentine’s Day as much as the next person. But, the amount of people you get complaining about being single on Valentine’s Day, and claiming to hate it! I bet you any amount of money that they would love the day if they were in a relationship. Who is to say that the origin of this day wasn’t just to celebrate all love in general? Why can’t we celebrate other people’s love too? Why have people turned it into a selfish day?

My partner and I (being students) have very little money, so we haven’t bought presents, or a card for one another. We are spending the day together and having a meal (home cooked I might add). This way, we save money, and we celebrate love. Yes our own love, bit selfish. But I have seen love everywhere today. True and beautiful. A guy preening a bouquet of flowers and a single red rose whilst waiting for his Valentine to answer the door, and so many couples looking entirely loved up! I think love is amazing. And just having a little appreciation for it, well it can go a long way. Whether you are single or not, you should try it sometime.

Keep on Loving!
!.!.!StudentLifeSucks!.!.!